Random Thoughts from Dad

Just a few random thoughts as this year closes out and I get sentimental as I get ready to leave for Boston.

Logan's "dada". Logan's first and really only word for about two months has been "dada". He's started to pick up "muma", which is a panic-attack cry loud for when he needs Geneva, but essentially everything is "dada". "Dada" is funny at certain times, like when it's 6:15 a.m. in the morning and I can hear him from his crib saying "dada? daaaaDA?"... which always leads to Geneva kicking my legs while she is half asleep saying "your boy is calling you, go get him." I lose, but I win. There are now variations of "dada", one there sounds more like "there-there!" when he wants to pick up or get something, or "here-here" which is when he has something in his hand and he wants to give it to you (he's learned the art of sharing as his sister will run him over if he doesn't). It's not long before the exclusivity of "dada" wears off, so I plan to savior these last few weeks. Moreover, I love to hear from laugh and scream when we play peek-a-boo with his little house... he loves to smash the door into my face (and Sydney's too now she's picked up on the game).

Sydney is amazing. She's really starting to assert her independence and display her personality a lot more. The Ariel Mermaid dress was one example. There was no trickery mom or I could figure out to get her to change her mind on the dress (i.e. the old bait and switch with an Ariel Christmas ornament AND an Aurora dress VS the Ariel Mermaid dress). She is very bright, inquisitive, and witty. When we were driving around on the weekend and asked her what she wanted to eat, Geneva caveated the questions with "no udon" (i.e. we're not going to sushi, one of her favourites). Sydney previously would have just said the second thing on her list (i.e. calamari, pho, chucchuc), but this time asked "why not udon?", as if heartbroken. She's definitely asking a lot more "whys". She reminds me a lot of mom as well in that she has a lot of guy friends at daycare (i.e. Reggie and Eric, aka Spiderman PJ kid and Bumblebee Autobot are two of her better friends). She takes a lot of delight in wearing her BatGirl shirt as a sign of solidarity. Nothing makes me happier than our night time routine when I get to read Sydney two or three books, or when I get to put her down for a nap. To me, there is nothing more spiritually fulfilling than having precious, quiet (note: quiet) one-on-one moments with your kids and spouse, when you can take in the moment, be in the moment, and realize why you are living your life and that you are blessed every day to have spiritual clarity and energy.

With Geneva having so much vacation time banked, we've been able to start to get away on date lunches and date days every other week. It's been so much fun to hang out with her, even if only for a one hour lunch, without the kids. I love that she is always open to trying new things, that she's taught me to be a foodie so we can enjoy good meals together (and that I'm healthier for it), and in general I really just enjoy her company more than anyone else that I know. Whether it's stealing a day at Granville Island, or indulging in sushi rolls at new places, or chit-chatting at the EA GYM, I love that one on one time we have outside of the house and without the kids. I think it would tear us to bits to be away from the kids too long, and really we take the kids everywhere anyways (skating, shopping, dinners, shows, trips, etc) so we've grown accustomed to moving at "family of four" pace. But these one-on-one moments are critical to maintain our bond and to setting a good example for the kids in the future.

As I get ready to leave for Boston and to spend the weekend with Ong Noi (dad), I know I'll really miss these guys. I hope that one day, Sydney and Logan will look back on trips like the one I'm taking with dad, and all the trips that PoPo makes to come out here, and that when they have busy lives that they'll also take the time out to hang out with their old folks.

Having just finished Sacred Hoops, and being in the process of chipping away at my old "Essential Zen" Buddhism text book from University, I really learning to have a deeper appreciation for two principles:
The sense of being in the moment - Combining self-awareness and awareness of my situation and my surroundings, and trying to focus on my thoughts and clear my mind as much as possible. If nothing else, I really hope to be a better listener for Geneva.
Enjoying the journey and understanding that the journey is the reward - It's been a good year from a career perspective. It was nice (more of a non-career-killer) to get to Director level again. I had a hard time accepting and internalizing congratulatory remarks this time when I was promoted. I think in past jobs, I was younger, less mature and more status conscious. Now, really it was more about "ok, I've gotten the level I need so that I can be marketable to level I want to be externally with no issues, should something happen in the future that I can't foresee" and separately, "one on hand, I've done a big part of this "new" job already, and on the other hand I haven't accomplished anything new since receiving this new title." So in the former sense, the intrinsic value is really in additional marketability and career safety/ peace of mind; and in the latter sense it really is more about appreciating the journey and also finding more reward when accomplishments are achieved versus in status recognition.

Lastly, while we miss not being around all of our extended family and old friends over the holidays in Edmonton and Calgary, it's really been more relaxing and a strong bonding experience for Geneva and I to be home with the kids these two weeks. With the kids in daycare 4/5 days a week, that's a lot for them to handle. And with Geneva back to a "new old" job, and myself taking on more responsibility at work in the last month, we were really under the gun in December. It has been great to wake up every morning and know that I get to spend the full day with the three more incredible people in my life. I love playing with Logan and watching him walk and become more aware & interactive. I relish the moments with Sydney when we dance, or we can try new things like skating, or we colour in the dark with her glodoodle, or read books, or play doctor or haircut or waiter. And I love spending my whole day with Geneva and sharing our experiences together (except for when she is unlocking mini-games for Sydney in Littlest Pet Shop despite the fact that Syd only plays Coloring Craze).

We really miss you all. I can't wait to see mom (Ba Noi) so I can give her a big hug as I haven't seen her since knee replacement surgery. I really am looking forward to this trip with dad... the last trip we did together was when he moved me out to Toronto so hopefully this one is more fun and relaxing in nature. And I can't wait to sit on the couch with Chris and just chat. I'm looking forward to having PoPo in town, I know that she'll be excited to see Logan walking, and I can't wait to see how she reacts to Sydney and what a joy she is to be around all the time. More than anything, I know that she'll pamper Geve in a way that only a mother can for her daughter. :)

As always, we are thankful for the love from our family to our kids (and ourselves). My wish list for 2010 would be:
- To take Chris and Geneva each to one cool EA sponsored event
- To take Geneva to two new cities we haven't been to together yet (with or without kids)
- To proudly record Sydney as a flower girl walking down the aisle at DooDoo and Tarick's wedding in Sept
- To have Logan meet Graydon Park (Ben's boy)
- To meet Chloe Chen (Austin's new daughter)
- To have Jade here for the Olympics, or at some point during the year to hang out.
- To have at least one grandmother retire this year and enjoy more time with their grandkids (specifically our kids)


Much love to Ba Noi/ Ong Noi, Gong Gong/ PoPo, Uncle Ian-Kath-Caden-Sam who we miss, Auntika/ Josh, Uncle Lam-Co Hanh-Jade-Vince and even Stephen, Benji-Grady-Kim-Elia-Aida, Uncle Huy-Auntie-Ha-Thien, Adoodoo-Tarick, Uncle Kirby-Ava-Korby, BaCo/OngCo/Mimi/Ky/Tyler/Miki/Auntie Thao, all of our friends in Vancouver and abroad, and of course our little Ippssy in spirit and guardianship. You are in our prayers every night, and we love you all very much.